Season's Greetings
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it’s difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer last night, and on advice I wish to say the following:
DEFINITIONS
“The Wisher” – Me.
“The Wishee” – You.
“The Wishes” – My Wishes, where the plural also implies the singular and vice versa where appropriate as inferred from the context.
GREETING
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best Wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the Southern Hemisphere summer solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of The Wishee’s choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference(s) of The Wishee.
TERMS & CONDITIONS
By accepting this greeting you acknowledge that you are accepting the following terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable provided that no alteration is made to the original greeting. It implies no promise by The Wisher to actually implement any of the Wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of The Wisher.
WARRANTY
The Wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new Wish at the sole discretion of The Wisher.
VARIATION
No variation to The Wishes or to the above Terms and Conditions may be made without the express written consent of The Wisher.
Best Regards (without prejudice),
Name withheld (for compliance with the Privacy Act).
